Wednesday 9 April 2008

Amusing books

I love books so although these are corny some made me laugh out loud especially Animal Scents by Farrah Mones, my sense of humour is lame...

40 Yards to the Latrine by Willy Makeit and Betty Wont
50 years in the saddle by Major Asburn
A Bestiary of Plant Eaters: Herb Avore
A Boxing Cornerman's Story: Dawson DeTowel
A Great Plenty by E. Nuff
A Stitch in Time by Justin Case
A Stuntman To The End: Kenny Doitt
A Trip to the Dentist by Yin Pain
A Whole Lot of Cats by Kitt N. Caboodle
Acrophobia Explained: Alfredo Heights
Advanced Maths by Smart E. Pants
After The Corned Beef And Cabbage: Kay O'Pectate
Ah, Thor!: Ty Till
All Alone: Saul E. Terry
Allegiance To The King: Neil Downe
Almost Missed the Bus by Justin Time
Ambulance Driving: Adam Muhway
Ambush! by May T. Surprise
And Shut Up! by Sid Downe
And the Other People by Allan Sundry
Animal Illnesses by Ann Thrax
Animal Scents: Farrah Mones
April Fool! by Sue Prize
Archery: Beau N. Arrow
Armed Heists by Robin Banks
Artificial Clothing by Polly Ester
Artificial Weightlessness by Andy Gravity
As Solid as...: Rocco Gibraltar
Assault with Battery by Eva Ready
At The Bottom Of The Can: Hazel Nutt
Athletic Supporter: Jacques Strap
Back Row Of The Orchestra: Clara Nett
Bad Cow Jokes: Terry Bull
Bad Falls by Eileen Dover
Bad Gardeners: Wilt Plant
Bad Investment: Les Riches
Banquet at McDonalds: Tommy Ayk
Baseball Tales by Homer
Battle Axes: Tom A. Hawk
Big Fart! by Hugh Jass
Blonde Hair by Bim Bow
Blowout!: Vlad Tire
Body Parts by Anne Atomy
Boring Midwestern Cities: Cole Lumbus
Boy Scout's Handbook: Casey Needzit
Brane Surjery Maid Simpel: Sarah Bellum
Breaking the Law by Kermit A. Krime
Bring to the Grocer's by R. List
Bubbles in the Bathtub by Ivor Windybottom
Cab Calloway's Garden: Heidi Ho
Candle-Vaulting by Jack B. Nimble
Car Capital Of The World: Mitch Egan
Car Repairs: Axel Grease
Care For A Chop?: Marsha Larts
Carpet Fitting: Walter Wall
Caulking Made Easy by Phil McKrevis
Chauvinistic Men by A. Lone
Cheaper than IBM: P.C. Clone
Cheating on His Wife: Izzy Backyet
Chest Pain by I. Coffalot
Chicago Gangs Of The '30's: Tommy Gunn
Chicken Dishes by Nora Drumsticks.
Children's Songbook: Skip Tumalu
Chinese Apathy: Hu Cares
Circle Perimiter: Sir Cumference
Classic Groceries: Chopin Liszt
Cloning by Irma Dubble II
Clothes for Germ Kings by Mike Robes
College Athletics: Nancy Dubblelay
Columbus, Vespucci, And Me: Enzo DiUrth
Come on in! by Doris Open
Computer Memories: Meg Abight
Confessions Of A Gold Digger: Emile Ticket
Cooking Spaghetti by Al Dente
Cosmetology: Rosie Cheeks
Covered Walkways by R. Kade
Crackdown: Lauren Order
Crocodile Dundee by Ali Gator
Cry Wolf by Al Armist
Cut the Grass!: Moses Lawn
Daddy are We There Yet? by Miles Away
Danger! by Luke Out
Dangerous Animals by Mann Eaters
Decorating your Mousehole: Minnie Blinds
Defunct Nations: Sophie Etunion
Desert Crossing by I. Rhoda Camel
Do It Yourself: Tyrone Shoelaces
Don't Do Anything Rash: Jacques Itch
Don't Tread On Me: Amanda B. Reckonwith
Downpour! by Wayne Dwops
Drafted!: Abel Boddeed
Drinking Problems by Al Coholic
Dull Razor: Nick Shaving
East Coast Resorts: Nan Tuckett
East Coast Universities: Cora Nell
Eating Disorders: Anna Rexia
Ecclesiastical Infractions by Cardinal Sin
Employment Handbook: Ernie Living
En Garde!: Drew Blood
Equine Leg Cramps by Charlie Horse
Erotic Adventures by Oliver Klozoff.
Errors and Accidents by Miss Takes and Miss Haps
Events In The Soviet Union: Perry Stroika
Exercise on Wheels by Cy Kling
Exotic Irish Plants by Phil O'Dendron
Explaining it Better: Clara Fie
Exploring The Dutch Frontier: Will Der Ness
Ex-Presidential Retreat: Kenny Bunkport
Fallen Underwear by Lucy Lastic
Falling Trees by Tim Burr
Fastest Gun In The West: Everett DeReady
Fat Lady In The Sideshow: Ellie Funt
Feelings: Cara Lott
Financial Insecurity: Wilma Moneylast
Fingerplay: Jacob Sladder
Fish Story: Rod Enreel
Fixing Computer Programs: Dee Bugger
Flips and Tumbles: Jim Nastics
Flogging in the Army by Corporal Punishment
Foot Coverings: Susan Socks
Foot Problems of Big Lumberjacks by Paul Bunion
Fortune Telling: Crystal Ball
Fred Can Philosophize!: Immanuel Kant
Free Willy by Freda Wale
French Cars: Myra Neault
French Overpopulation by Francis Crowded
Full Moon by Seymour Buns
Gambling by Monty Carlos
Gangway!: Hedda Steam
Gardening With The Ex-President: Rose Bush
Geez, It's Hot!: Mike Hammeldyed
Genie in a Bottle: Grant Wishes
Get Moving! by Sheik Aleg
Get Out There! by Sally Forth
Girl On a Budget: Penny Pincher
Glass Bikini by Seymore Skynn
Go Away!: Ron Onhome
Golly Gosh! by G. Whiz
Gone Fishing: Rod Annette
Gone With The Wind: George Uh
Good Housekeeping by Lottie Dust
Good Steak!: T. Bone
Good Works by Ben Evolent
Grave Mistakes by Paul Bearer
Great Tennis Matches: Davis Skupp
Greek Unbeliever!: Hera Tick
Green Lawn Chairs: Patty O'Furniture
Green Spot on the Wall by Picken & Flicken
Greeting Sheep Strangers: Hugh R. Ewe
Guarding the Door: Sergeant Atarms
Guide To Mixology: Bart Ender
Handel's Messiah by Ollie Luyah
Happy New Year! by Mary Christmas
He Disappeared! by Otto Sight
Head of Security: Barb Dwyer
Held Hostage by Italian Terrorists!: Aldo Anything
Here's Puss In Your Eye: Lance Boyle
Hertz, Don't It?: Lisa Carr
He's Contagious! by Lucas Measles
Hide and Seek by I.C. You
Highway Travel by Dusty Rhodes
Hiya Fella: Gladys Eeya
Hole in the Bed by Mister Completely
Holiday Spots by Sandie Beaches
Hollywood Gossip: Phyllis Zinn
Holmes Does it Again by Scott Linyard
Home Alone IV by Annie Buddyhome
Home of the Liberty Bell: Phil A. Delphia
Hot Dog! by Frank Furter
House Construction by Bill Jerome Holme
House Plants: Clay Potts
Housework: Dustin Cook
How I Won The Marathon: Randy Hoelway
How to Annoy by Aunt Agonize
How To Beat A Murder Rap: Scott Free
How to Break In: Jimmy De Lock
How to Cook a Steak: Porter House
How to Cut Grass: Lon Moore
How to Draw: Ellis Strait
How to Get Rid of Unwanted Guests by Bea O'Problem
How To Make Cornmeal Pancakes: Johnny Cake
How to Make Honey: B.A. Beaman
How to Overcome Stress: R.E. Lachs
How To Prevent Leaks: Titus A. Drum
How to Read a Book: Paige Turner
How to Succeed in School: Rita Book
How to Tour the Prison by Robin Steele
How To Tune Up Your Auto: Carl Humm
Hunger In America: Heywood Jafeedme
Hypnotism by N. Tranced
I Beat Bobby Fischer: Jess Player
I Can Fix It: Jerry Rigg
I Can't See The Difference: Sam Ting
I Didn't Do It! by Ivan Alibi
I Hate Monday Mornings by Gaetan Oop
I Hate the Sun by Gladys Knight
I Hit the Wall by Isadore There
I Like Fish by Ann Chovie
I Like Liquor by Ethyl Alcohol
I Like Weeding Gardens by Manuel Labour
I Lived in Detroit by Helen Earth
I Lost My Balance by Eileen Dover and Paul Down
I Love Bullfighting: Matt Adore
I Love Crowds by Morris Merrier
I Love Fractions by Lois C. Denominator
I Love Mathematics by Adam Up
I Love Wills by Benny Fishery
I Love You!: Alma Hart
I Must Fix the Car! by Otto Doit
I Need Insurance by Justin Case
I Read You Like A Book: Claire Voyant
I Say So! by Frank O. Pinion
I Want to Help: Abel N. Willin
I Was A Cloakroom Attendant by Mahatma Coate
I Was A Son Of A Buccaneer: Rich Kidd
I Work with Diamonds by Jules Sparkle
I Wuz Framed!: Gil Tee
I Wuz Robbed!: Alma Money
If I Invited Him... by Woody Kum
If Tomorrow Never Comes by Stew Layt
I'm an Atheist: Noel Noheaven
I'm Fine by Howard Yu
I'm Gods Gift to Women by P. Rick
I'm Scared!: Emma Fraid
I'm Someone Else by Ima Nonymous
Imitating Mozart: Sam Phony
In Farmer MacGregor's Garden: Peter Abbott
In the Arctic Ocean by Isa Berg
In The Trenches: Helmut Wearer
Indian/Italian Cuisine: Ravi Oley
Indiana Jones' Adventures: Darrin Rescue
Inflammation, Please by Arthur Itis
Interior Decorating: Curt Enrod
Irish Dentistry: Perry O'Dontal
Irish First Aid: R.U. O'Kaye
Irish Flooring by Lynn O'Leum
Is O. J. Guilty? by Howard I. Know
It Won't Work!: Mel Function
Italian Cooking: Mac Aroni
Italian Delicacies: Liz Onya
It's a Holdup! by Nick R. Elastic
It's a Shocker by Alec Tricity
It's All In Your Head: Madge Ination
It's Magic! by Sven Gali
It's Springtime! by Theresa Green
It's Unfair! by Y. Me
Jewish Holidays: Hannah Kuhh
Jewish Mysticism: Lev Itation
Joe Wins at a Track Meet: C. Howie Runns
Judging Fast Food by Hamilton Berger
Just Say No: Will Power
Kangaroo Illnesses by Marcus Wallaby, M.D.
Keep 'Em That Way: Private Parts
Keep it Clean! by Armand Hammer
Keep Out!: Barb Dwyer
Keeping Old Furniture Looking Good: Ann Teak
Kindergarten Kop II: Bea Hayve
Laid Off!: Gwen Home
Land Ahoy by I.C. Fields
Laughing In The White House: Polly Tickle
Lawn Care: Ray King
Lawyers of Suffering by Grin and Barrett
Lazy Employees: Hans Doolittle
Leo Tolstoy by Warren Peace
Let's Do it Now! by Igor Beaver
Lewis Carroll by Alison Wonderland
Life As A Comic: Stan Dupp
Life Before Cars: Orson Buggy
Life in Chicago by Wendy City
Life In The Sorority House: Carrie Onn
Life Six Feet Under: Doug Graves
Little Bitty Froggies: Tad Pole
Long Walk: Miss D. Bus
Long Way Down: Rip Cord Broke
Look Younger by Fay Slift
Los Angeles Pachyderms by L.A. Funt
Lots of Excitement by Hugh N. Cry
Lotsa Luck: Bess Twishes
Making Explosives: Stan Wellback
Many Are Cold, But Few Are Frozen: Minnie Sota
Mardi Gras Time: Lou Isiana
Maritime Disasters by Andrea Doria
Maritime Rules: Paula See
May Flowers by April Showers
Meals On Safari: Lionel Eecha
Meat Eaters: Carney Vore
Mensa Man by Gene Yuss
Mexican Revenge by Monty Zuma
Mexican/Italian Food: Pepe Roney
Military Defeats by Major Disaster and General Mayhem
Military Fast: Colonel O'Corn
Military Rule by Marshall Law
Mineralogy for Giants by Chris Tall
Misunderstood: Art Tistic
Mobile Homes: Winnie Bago
Modern Giants by Hugh Mungous
Modern Tree Watches by Anna Log
Money Management: Owen Cash
Monkey Shines by Bob Boone
Moon Phases by Seymour Butts
More for Your Money by Max Amize
Mosquito Bites by Ivan Itch
Mountain Climbing by Andover Hand
Musical Gunfighters by The Okay Chorale
My Career As A Clown: Abe Ozo
My Life in the Gutter by Yves Trough
My Life With Annette: Amos Kateer
My Lost Causes by Noah Veil
My Seventh Husband: Ivana Newhouse
Mystery in the Barnyard: Hu Flung Dung
Neat Shirts: Preston Ironed
Neither a Borrower: Nora Lender Bee
New Mexico Tour Book: Albie Kerky
NHL Hockey: Stanley Kupp
Nice Hotels: Mary Ott
No More Circuit Breakers! by Ira Fuse
No! by Kurt Reply
Nobel Prize Cannibals: Laurie Ate
Noise is Forbidden! by Nada Loud
Nordic Groundskeepers: Leif Raker
Not a Guitar!: Amanda Lin
Not Bogged Down In Reality: Jason Rainbows
Not So Hot: Luke Warm
Nuclear Explosives: Adam Baum
Nuclear Power Bafflement: Ken Fusion
Nuts about You!: Cy Cosis
Off To Market by Tobias A. Pigg
Oh What A Relief It Is: Al Kaseltzer
Okee Dokee: Roger Wilco
One Hundred Years Old: Abbie Birthday
Options Trading: June Gold
Outdoor Activities by Alf Resco
Outdoor Cookery: Barbie Cue
Outer Space by A. Leanne
Overcoming Nervousness On Radio: Mike Fright
Overweight Vegetables by O. Beets
Pain in My Body by Otis Leghurts
Pain Relief by Ann L. Gesick
Parachuting by Hugo First
Party On, Dude: Jill Out
Peeping Tom: Sawyer Scanties
Pentagon Press Release: Colonel O'Truth and Lotta Lies
Personal Best: Marco DeStinction
Perverted Mushrooms by M. Morel
Pilgrim Settlers: May Flower
Playing with the Christmas Fire: Yule B. Sari
Plumb Good: Dwayne Pipe
Positive Reinforcement: Wade Ago
Prayers For Children: Cindy Skool
Prepare To Meet Your Maker: Eva DeStruction
Preparing Leather: Tanya Hyde
Pressure Relief: Korsetsov
Prevent Drowning: Buddy System
Pull with All You've Got! by Eve Ho
Pull Yourself Together!: Annette Curtain
Punk Rock Rulez!: Lotta Noyze
Put'er There, Pal!: Greg Garious
Quips For The Young At Heart: Marty Pants
Racketeering by Dennis Court
Raising Flowers By Hand: Flo Wrist
Rangers In The Night: Forrest Fyar
Rapunzel, Rapunzel!: Harris Long
Ready...Set...: Sadie Word
Red Vegetables by B. Troot
Rich People: Belle Yenere
Robots by Anne Droid
Round the World: Madge Ellen
Rules For Living: Sharon Sharalike
Russian Tennis Shoes: Ivan Odor
Rusty Bed Springs by I.P. Nightly
Sandpapers of the West: Tex Ture
Say The Magic Word: Abby Cadabra
Scandinavian Photography: Matt Finnish
Scottish Kilt Patterns: Glen Pladd
Scuffed Floors: Mark Tupp
Sea Birds by Al Batross
Season Tickets: Oprah Maven
Severed Joints by Arm Less
Shaky Knees: Cliff Diver
Shhh!: Danielle Soloud
Shoes For Farm And Ranch: Claude Hopper
Silly Rabbit: Trixie R. Forkids
Singin' and Shakin': Oprah Tic Tenor
Skunks in the Shrubbery: P. Yew
Slept Right Throught It by R.E. Classes
Sliding Down a Banister by Dick Burns
Small Treasures in the Toilet Bowl by I.P. Nickels
Small Vegetables: Russell Sprout
Smart Beer Making by Bud Wiser
Smash His Lobster! by Buster Crabbe
Smoker's Cough: Nick O'Teen
Snakes of the World by Anna Conda
Snorting My Way To Heaven: Angel Dust
Soak Your Ex-Husband by Ali Money
Soda Pop History: Ginger Aile
Sofa so Good by Chester Field
Solving Crimes: D. Tective
Some Like It Hot: Red Pepper
Some Like It Sweet: Sugar Kane
Somethings Out There by Will B. Watchinu
Songs For Children: Barbara Blacksheep
Sound as a Bell: A.C. Langer
Southern California Waffles: Sandy Eggo
Split Personalities: Jacqueline Hyde
Spots on the Wall by Who Flung Poo
Star Spangled Barrio: Jose Canusee
Still Looking For My Heart: Sam Francisco
Stop Arguing by Xavier Breath
String Instruments by Viola Player
Strong Winds: Gail Force
Stunned Over Christmas: Holly Daze
Surprised! by Omar Gosh
Swedish Perfumeries: Ole Factory
Swimming in the Arctic: I. C. Waters
Take a Break!: Colin Sick
Take This Job And Shove It: Ike Witt
Teach Me! by I. Wanda Know
Tear Up Those Betting Slips: Lou Zerr
Teenagers Of The '50's: Bobbie Sox
The Auto Salvage Business: Rex Toad
The Beach Bully: Harry Ayp
The Big Wave: Sue Nami
The Bird Collection: Arnie Thologie
The Bog: Pete Maas
The Candy Store: Pepper Mintz
The Cat's Revenge by Claude Bottom
The Chuck Berry Story: Judy Frudy
The Complete Proctologists Handbook by Ben Dover
The Criminals Of Watergate: Barton Mee
The Dead Of Winter: Jan Yuary
The Economy is Recovering!: Knott Quite
The Effects of Alcohol by Sir Osis of Liver
The Empath: Ophelia Sadness
The End of the World by Armageddin Outtahere
The Excitement of Trees by I. M. Board
The Fall of a Watermelon by S. Platt
The Fortuneteller: Reid Palms
The French Chef by Sue Flay
The Frozen South: A. Winterbottom
The Garden State: Ida Hoe
The German Bank Robbery: Hans Zupp
The Good Breakfast: Hammond Deggs
The Greasy Spoon: Chris Coe
The Great Escape by Freida Convict
The Great Flood: Noah Zark
The Ham Radio Primer: Loudon Clear
The Hidden Surprise: Pam Perz
The History Of Exxon: Phil Errup
The History of Fox TV: Annette Work
The Hitchhiker: Juan Nalift
The Housing Problem by Rufus Quick
The Industrial Revolution by Otto Mattick
The Irish Heart Surgeon: Angie O'Plasty
The LA Lakers' Breakfast: Kareem O'Wheat
The Lady Pirate: Peg Legg
The Last Roundup: Brandon Irons
The Lion Attacked by Claudia Armoff
The Miracle Drug: Penny Cillin
The Monkey Cage: Jim Panzee
The Music Of Sammy Davis Jr.: Candy Mann
The National Science Foundation: Grant Money
The Nude Beach by Seymour Hair
The Palace Roof has a Hole by Lee King
The Paper Route: Avery Daye
The Peace Mission: Olive Branch
The Perils Of Drug Addiction: Anita Fixx
The Phillipine Post Office: Imelda Letter
The Porn Queen: Mona Lott
The Scent of a Man by Jim Nasium
The Senior Prom: Spike Drink
The Shrinking Society: Les Ismoor
The Smorgasbord: Buffy Dinner
The Spiritual Life: Ned Itation
The Squeaking Gate: Rusty Hinges
The Sweat Shop: Hiram Cheap
The Telltale Heart: Stefi Scope
The Truancy Problem: Marcus Absent
The TV News Anchorman: Maury Ports
The Twelfth Month: Dee Sember
The Unknown Rodent by A. Nonny Mouse
The World's Best Recipes: Gus Tatorial
The World's Deadliest Joke: Theophilus Punoval
Theft and Robbery by Andy Tover
Things to Cook Meat In by Stu Potts
Things To Do At Parties: Bob Frapples
Those Funny Dogs by Joe Kur
Tigger's revenge by Claude Balls
Tight Situation by Leah Tard
Tighten That butt! by A. Nail Retentive
Tinseltown Tales: Holly Wood
To Be Honest: Frank Lee
Too Rough: Soren Redd
Trails in the Sand by Peter Dragon
Trial Law: Tess Temoni
Trim Those Sideburns Too?: Buzz Cutt
Tug of War by Paul Hard
Turkish Minerals: Asa Miner
Turtle Racing by Eubie Quick
Two Thousand Pounds! by Juan Ton
Tyrant of the Potatoes by Dick Tater
Uncomfortable Feelings by Jock Strap
Under the Bleachers by Seymour Butts
Unemployed by Anita Job
Uninteresting Road Signs: Bill Bored
Unsolved Mysteries by N. Igma
Vegas Divorces: Marion Hayste
Vegetable Arrangements: Arty Choke
Volunteer's Guidebook: Linda Hand
Waiting in Line for the Bathroom by Ivana Tinkle
Waste Dumps by I. Saw
We Take Credit Cards, But...: Cassius Better
We Won 20-1!: Barry Um
Webster's Words by Dick Shunnary
Weekend In Hong Kong: Rick Shaw
Weepy Movie: Maud Lynn Story
We're All Flakes: Dan Druff
West Coast Universities: Stan Ford
What I Took: Irv Erginity
What Makes a Good Thief by Ian Yerhous
What Makes Airplanes Go: Jeff Fuel
Whatchamacallit! by Thingum Bob
What's For Dinner?: Chuck Roast
What's Your Invention?: Pat Tent
When's The Revolution?: Millie Tant
Where to Find Islands by Archie Pelago
Where to Put Your Money: Bill Fold
Where's the Toilet by Ivona Tinkle
Who Killed Cock Robin? by Howard I. Know
Why Cars Stop by M. T. Tank
Wind In The Maple Trees: Russell Ingleaves
Wind Instruments by Tom Bone
Winning the Race by Vic Tree
Wish I'd Never Been Born: Rudy Daye
Without Warning by Oliver Sudden
Women Rule by Iam Write.
Woulda Been A Great Shortstop: Kent Hitt
Wouldn't You Know It: Murphy Slaw
Yellow River by I. P. Freely
Yoko's Robe: Kim Ono
You Drip!: Lee K. Fawcette
You Wash, I'll Dry: Terry Cloth
You're a Bundle of Laughs by Vera Funny
You're Kidding! by Shirley U. Jest
You're So Sweet: Mable Syrup

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